Words that heal not wound

I get frustrated at what I call our ‘sound bite society’.  We have access to more information than ever before at the click of a mouse, but we seem to spend so little time reading and trying to understand complex or grey issues, instead going with the sound bite conclusion.  However, some sound bites or one-liners do seem to stick, and I’ve decided that if they promote positive thought or action then perhaps they are acceptable.  An example that caught my attention on the radio recently was the phrase ‘words that heal not wound’.   If I’m being honest, the amount of thought that goes into the words I speak and how much of a positive contribution they make to the people I interact with probably directly correlates with how sleep deprived or hungry or cold I am.  Another sound bite I’ve stored up is that’ it takes ten positive comments to make up for a negative’ and a third is that ‘you should not be abrasive if you want to be persuasive’.     

Words can be powerful weapons.  Silence, where words are withheld in place of dialogue can be incredibly hurtful.  Unexpected, critical or harsh words can pop a bubble of security or happiness and irreversibly change the dynamics of a relationship.  Words can raise and dash expectations, inspire and shatter dreams.  Of course there is a time and occasionally a need for difficult words, but those times aside, given the immense power words can have, maybe it is time I cared more about the words I speak or write every day.   I know that words I hear and read affect how I respond.  Perhaps I am simplistic in my need for recognition and praise, but if my manager says ‘This is an excellent piece of work, but would you mind just changing this bit?’ I am happy to make the change.  Had he not bothered with the positive praise you’d probably find me complaining about it. 

By instinct, when I am hurt, angry or frustrated the words that I want to speak (or shout) are negative and abrasive. But how much more useful would it be and how much quicker could a situation be improved if I already had eight or nine positives in the bank to cancel out the negative, particularly when dealing with my three year old? Or, how much easier would it be to persuade my husband that I’m right (I usually am....) if we’re not both using defensive, abrasive language and digging our heels in? 

Words can inspire and encourage, nurture and strengthen, bring hope, reassurance and instil confidence.  Words that heal not wound – a sound bite I hope is going to stick in my head for a while longer.